Cripes all freaking Friday. Women, I’m BEGGING YOU, please, wear an f’ning ski-suit, or a large trash bag, or some bed-sheets, something, ANYTHING other than yoga pants and a tight t-shirt. Today at the gym there was this very attractive girl that I’d never seen before at the gym. She had a great ass, which has long-since been my weakness, and today was clearly Leg Day with an emphasis on hams and glutes. And she was wearing freaking yoga pants. So, at one point she’s doing the Hack Squat machine backwards, but with her ass in the air, like a lightening rod or something.
Do you know how freaking hard it is not to look at something like that?! I mean, forget the fact she was hot, the sheer awkwardness of the exercise was worth a look alone. Then, THEN, at the tail end of my workout I’m doing dips, at the dip bars, obviously. Standing there in between sets, she comes over, like, 3 feet from me, and proceeds to do STIFF LEGGED DEADLIFTS with dumbbells! It was so ridiculous from the aspect of the universe saying “LOOK HERE, CALIBER! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!” that I literally started bursting out laughing. It was so over the top, so just, completely ridiculous. I think she competed though, which is very cool.
I’m begging you, women, please, dress like a log when you come into the gym.
Alrighty, let’s get it.
Pre-Workout: 24oz of Gatorade, 20g of Whey Isolate, 1g of Kre-Alkalyn Creatine.
Intra-Workout: 36oz of Gatorade with 1 scoop of BPI Best Aminos that contains CLA and Glutamine, another shaker with 40g of Whey Isolate.
Dumbbell Incline Bench – 60×8, 65×8, 70×8, 80×10
So, who’s the worst guy to ever get dumbbells into position for Incline Bench? That’s right, ladies & gentleman, it’s Caliber. I need to order those hooks that you connect to them and place on a barbell that’s on a bench, because I’m just terrible. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to launch them comfortably, and I’m always in danger of hurting myself. Hell, I get these things into position so badly I’m in danger of hurting the person working at the front desk, 200ft from me. Anyway, I do love this exercise. Nothing works the pecs better, in my opinion. Especially if you bring the dumbbells together at the top. When I do that as opposed to just straight up and down, my pecs are absolutely toast.
Machine Chest Press – 180×9, 225×8, 8, 8
Sometimes it’s nice to use a machine, and just focus on the squeeze, and working the muscle. I remember years ago when I was working out in a shitty apartment gym that just had this little Bowflex-esq contraption. It had a Chest Press, and all I wanted was to be able to hit 200lbs for a rep. My mind from a few years ago would be blown to know I can rep over 300lbs on a machine bench no problem when I’m fresh.
Dumbbell Over-Head Press – 40×8, 45×8, 50×8, 55×8
These are tough to do with any serious weight after doing Incline Dumbbell. Still one of my favorites though, and an all time great mass-builder. I always do these standing, as it works the entire body, especially the core.
Incline Shoulder Raises – 15×8, 8, 8, 8
These were fine, but next time I think I’m gonna turn around in the chair, see how that feels. I do love a good round of Front Raises, as I think the Front Delts are sorely ignored by most, when they should be just as coveted as any other body part. Especially if you want to get those bench numbers up.
Cable Skull Crushers – 120×10, 8, 8, 8
One of my absolute favorite triceps exercises. You get such an awesome squeeze. I prefer to use the machine version, because it makes sure to work things equal, but it was in use. When I’m sore from these, I feel it further up my arm, as opposed to closer to my elbow like most triceps exercises.
Dumbbell Kickbacks – 15×8, 8, 12×8, 10
I haven’t done these in years. In the realm of burly exercise, these are near the bottom of the list. I feel like an old lady, and I’m working in a quick pump before church. However, these do target the triceps very well, I will say that. The first 2 sets I did one arm at a time, but the last two were dual arm.
Dips – bodyweight of 265×10, 6, 7, 6
Love me some dips. You want to up your bench, you want thick triceps? Then as an old bad-ass at a gym with huge triceps told my friend, dips, dips, and more dips.
Ab Machine – 130×8, 8, 8, 8, 8
Standard Walk – 45 minutes.
Post-Workout: 1g of Kre-Alkalyn Creatine, 30g of Whey Isolate.