Lately, I don’t know if it’s because Summer is here, but I’ve been seeing some new faces around my gym, and their behavior is lacking. So, I thought I’d write up a tutorial for cats who are new to the gym. Follow these rules, and be an awesome cat that people look forward to seeing at the gym, as opposed to someone they want to see choke on their Training Mask.
1 – Use The Proper Space For The Proper Reasons.
I’m lucky enough to workout at a giant commercial gym that respects real weight-lifting. So, there’s a training room that has a 10×10 platform, along with bumper plates. So, you can Deadlift, Power Clean, Clean & Jerk, whatever. Twice in a row now I’ve gone to workout and do Power Cleans, only to find these two guys who’ve had their subscription to Muscle & Fitness for 6 months, doing bicep curls! And they’re filming each other. It’s so damn obnoxious. I mean, you can literally bicep curl ANYWHERE, but they choose the 10×10 platform that’s designated for a handful of exercises?!
So, when you join a gym, look for these sorts of areas, and use them for what they’re used for. Don’t use the seat of a Leg-Press to do Preacher Curls, don’t curl inside the Squat Rack, things like this.
2 – If You Don’t Have A Show Coming Up, Keep Your Shirt On.
This is something I’ve been seeing lately. These cats who come in and start working out without their shirt on. Really? Is that sleeveless t-shirt you’re wearing just catapulting your body to temperatures unbeknownst to science? The real obnoxious thing is the guys who do it have real terrible bodies, and look like they just started working out. I can get wanting to check yourself out with a pump, but in every gym there’s a room where classes are taught that have wall-to-wall mirrors, so go pose in their. Or, the bathroom. Unless you’re a professional and need to constantly work on your posing in between sets, keep your shirt on.
3 – Talking To People Is Fine, But Pick Your Spots
Making friends in the gym is great. Asking people for advice or a spot is perfectly normal and welcomed. However, pick your spots when you do it. What I mean by that is watch the person you plan on asking for a second. See how long he breaks between sets, if he’s doing super-sets, or a circuit. Learn their pattern then go ahead and ask when you know they’ve got a few seconds of rest where they aren’t doing anything.
4 – Learn The Way Of The Gym
Every gym is going to be different, and every gym is gonna be different at different times. So what I’m talking about is when you know you’re gonna be at the gym during a certain time for a while [months, years], do everything by the book until you see how things work. For instance, I’ve been at my gym for a year, and I workout between 2-5am, I know how things are done there at that time. By that, I mean let’s say I just did some barbell OHP, well I’d take the weights off the bar. However, if I was doing some Hammer Strength Incline Presses I’d leave a 45lb plate on each arm, because that’s how things are there at that time. People are cool with leaving a plate or so on certain machines to save each other time.
5 – PUT YOUR DUMBBELLS AWAY
There is no reason I should have to say this, but, man, it’s rampant. Hell, this goes out to everyone. PUT YOUR DAMN DUMBBELLS AWAY. Not a day goes by that I don’t see a 50lb dumbbell sitting some where random, a 20lb dumbbell by the Captain’s Chair, a 70lb barbell sitting by the Leg Extension Machine. I mean, who the hell does this? I once saw two 50lb and two 70lb dumbbells just laying around a flat bench. I also saw a barbell loaded with 405lb sitting in ront of the Hack Squat machine. Who the HELL does this crap? Obnoxious jerks.
Now you’re set to take on the world. Go forth.
Alrighty, let’s get it.