What’s up, gang.
I thought, perhaps other than just talking about fitness here, I’d also ramble about some other life stuff.
Basically, I have a major, major crush on my good friend’s girlfriend. I’ve never been in love, but I’ve been close, and this feels like that. Obviously, it’s never anything I intended to have happen, and the entire thing is a double-edged sword. The way I feel about her, it’s amazing. She’s funny, interesting, creative, into nerd culture, loyal, and is one of the cutest girls I’ve ever met, who, I recently found out, can also be very sexy. Cute and sexy, that’s a very hard combination to pull off. Like I said, the way I feel about her…it’s amazing, but at the same time, it’s dreadful.
I constantly have to look at her from afar, with someone else. I constantly have to refrain from telling her I absolutely think the world of her, that for the life of me, I can’t understand why she has low self-esteem, because she could have the world at her feet. The only thing I want as much as her, is for her to see herself the way I do.
I pride myself on being a machine, ya know. No emotions unless they’re needed, but especially not in terms of dating or women. I didn’t give a shit. Then she came into my life. My soulless streak, she broke it. Now she’s all I fucking think about. Everything reminds me of her. A damn mail box can remind me of her.
I don’t know what to do. I imagine just time and a lot of lamenting.
OK, enough of the doom & gloom, let’s talk about Monday’s routine. It’s Leg Day plus a ton of striking work.